Stop! Please don’t go away. Please? No one’s ever stuck with me for so long before. And if you leave, if you leave…I just, I remember things better with you.
Dory, Finding Nemo (via jlols)
(Source: whatsmydomainagain, via daphneemarie)
My dad just emailed me this huge list of puns oh my god
- I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
- When chemists die, they barium.
- Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
- I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
- This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
- I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
- I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
- They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
- We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
- Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
- Broken pencils are pointless.
- I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
- What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
- I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
- All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
- I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
- Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
- A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
- The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault.
- Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
Ladies, never talk to a nigga your guy hates. Fellas, never talk to a bitch your girl hates.
(Source: xoxorachany)
' I'm Fine ': i don’t care who sees this, i don’t care if i get messages about this....
i don’t care who sees this, i don’t care if i get messages about this. But, i honestly feel like crap, we broke up yesterday and i already want him back. Whats wrong with me, im suppose to be strong, showing him i don’t need him, but i love him and i just want to call him baby again and tell him…
When someone vents to you
and you’re left speechless. You want to be able to say something to make them feel better, but you can’t think of anything. All you can do is try to respond with something but then it seems like you don’t care. It sucks when someone is pouring their heart out to you, and you can’t do anything to fix it.
(Source: lalalalalacaitlinmay, via breatheeagainnn)
- Mom: What's wrong?
- My mind: I used to do so well in school but I'm not anymore.
- My mind: The people I call friends, aren't my actual friends.
- My mind: I'm constantly feeling alone.
- My mind: I'm starting to look at myself different.
- My mind: Nothing feels the same anymore.
- My mind: I feel like I'm going to fail at anything I try to do.
- My mind: I haven't been eating that much and I'm hungry all the time.
- My mind: I feel like no one cares about me.
- My mind: I just wanna sleep all day and never wake up.
- Me: Oh nothing I'm fine.
- My mind: besides all the above.
- my fucking life.
